For most of 2024, life was great. But as the year drew to a close, my dad’s health took a sharp and dramatic turn.
He’s been smoking since his teens—five decades of cigarettes—and had always managed to shrug off the occasional coughing fits. But this mid-December was different.
The coughs weren’t just occasional anymore; they were a relentless, hacking assault that echoed through the night, each one wracking his body and leaving him drenched in a cold, feverish sweat.
He was admitted to the hospital the next day.
Preliminary scans revealed ominous spots on his lungs. The doctors explained that these could be a sign of lung cancer, a diagnosis that is tragically common among long-term smokers; over 80% of lung cancer patients are either current or former smokers.
Hearing the word “cancer” turned his face pale. Like many Asian parents of his generation, while he didn’t say much, his fear was palpable. He needed more tests, and the agonizing wait for results began.
For years, the insidious effects of smoking lurked beneath the surface, a seemingly distant threat. Then, in one terrifying moment, they weren’t distant anymore.
This is the brutal truth about compounding: those small, seemingly insignificant daily actions, whether healthy habits or harmful vices, accumulate silently over time, ultimately leading to monumental outcomes, a truth that my father and our family were now facing head-on.
Smoking didn’t seem to affect my dad’s life—until it suddenly did.
The following two days felt like an eternity. While waiting for test results, his condition worsened, and he started coughing up blood.
When the results came back, we all braced ourselves. But to our immense relief, it wasn’t cancer. It was type A influenza.
The virus had completely overwhelmed him because decades of smoking had left his lungs too weak and vulnerable.
The doctor’s warning was clear: quit smoking. His lungs were in such a bad state that even a common virus could be life-threatening. He had to remain hospitalized until after Christmas, a stark reminder of his precarious health.
When he was discharged on December 26, he made a declaration: he was going to quit smoking.
He was already past the worst of the nicotine withdrawal since the peak is typically between days 3-5 when nicotine clears from the body. He was hospitalized and couldn’t smoke during that period. He even disposed of all his cigarettes. It seemed like this time, he might succeed.
But then came January 1, 2025. As people were writing their resolutions for the year ahead, he lit up his first cigarette since the hospital.
The hardest part of quitting was over. He had momentum, and he had gotten rid of his cigarettes. What went wrong?
His community.
When he felt well enough to leave the house, he went to meet his friends—the same group he always smoked with. I had a sinking feeling the moment he left.
Sure enough, the law of “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” remained undefeated.
If you’re serious about making positive changes in 2025, the most powerful thing you can do is carefully curate your community. This means two things:
1. Spend time with people who elevate you. Seek out individuals who are where you want to be and who inspire you to grow.
2. Distance yourself from those who hold you back. This is the most challenging step for most people but also the most effective. If your social circle encourages behaviors undermining your goals, you need to distance yourself. It might feel uncomfortable, even cruel, but staying stuck in a toxic environment is far worse.
If you want to quit smoking, stop hanging out with smokers.
If you want to quit drinking, stop going to bars with your drinking buddies.
If you want to lose weight, distance yourself from “foodie” friends who always want to try the unhealthiest food at new restaurants.
It’s simple, but not easy.
This principle extends beyond your physical surroundings into the digital world, which can be just as influential. Your inbox, social media feeds, and the content you consume are the building blocks of your digital community, constantly shaping your mindset and influencing your choices.
Trying to save money? Unsubscribe from those retail newsletters that tempt you with sales.
Trying to focus on health? Follow accounts that inspire fitness and well-being, not those that glorify indulgence.
Trying to be a better investor? Unfollow creators that promote speculation and trigger FOMO.
Curating your community in the real world and online is the most powerful lever you can pull to achieve your goals. It won’t always be easy, but it is essential. This year, choose your influences wisely, surround yourself with those who lift you up and watch yourself grow. Make 2025 your year of intentional growth.
Compound wisely,
Thomas