Recording of the Zoom book club discussion at the bottom of this post.
Having written for about three years now, I’m mightily aware that I always have to put the most important thing first. Because our attention spans, much like a dwindling bar of soap, tend to diminish the further we scroll.
So before that happens, here’s the single most powerful actionable takeaway from the principle of reciprocity:
The essence of this principle is simple yet profound: when we extend a favor, we wield a significant power—the power to evoke a strong internal urge in others to reciprocate.
It’s crucial, then, to avoid diminishing this gesture with dismissive remarks such as “Oh, it’s nothing” or “Don’t worry about it.”
The key here is to not diminish your efforts.
Instead, embracing the value of your actions with a response like, “I’m sure you would have done the same for me,” not only acknowledges the gesture but reinforces the unspoken bond to reciprocate in kind.
Next, we discussed the principle of likeability extensively during the Zoom session. We are more likely to be influenced by people we like, according to this principle.
Although I observe that compliments work well to increase likeability, I’m not a big fan of using them.
Instead, I’ll share what worked well for me. I used to know that before every interview I went for, I’d crush it because of the likability principle, and this strategy has another positive spillover effect, the interviewer will be really impressed with the amount of due diligence you’ve done.
The secret?
I’ll read all the accomplishments and work done by the interviewers and we’ll talk about it in depth.
In the case of PhD holders, I will read their past papers and theses.
In the case of government policy makers, I will read their annual reports to learn what important achievements they achieved or what their key performance indicators (KPIs) are.
Nowadays, it’s easier than ever to learn about someone before you meet them in person. And just to be clear, I’m referring to the person’s professional achievements or work.
You can also increase your likability by highlighting your similarities. It is usually easier for us to work and gel with people who are similar to us, isn’t it? Even at work, we tend to avoid people who are different from us.
Throughout the conversation, listen for common interests, delicacies you enjoy, or if you have similar favorite books.
During the discussion, we went into great detail about commitment and consistency.
Whether verbally or in writing, committing to something means taking a stand and making a choice. Even though we may face personal pressures that might make us change our mind, we find ways to justify our previous decision and respond accordingly.
In the investing world, this is especially prevalent and can have disastrous results. It seems that many influencers who declared their love for certain stocks, only to see them decline between 75% and over 90%, refuse to admit that their thesis is busted even though the company is no longer in its prime.
Peloton, for example, has dropped from a peak of over $160 to $4.50 today. Investors had the opportunity to get out when management flip-flopped on whether the company needed capital injection, or when orders started declining rapidly and it was evident the company would be unable to service its debt.
Investors who said Peloton would revolutionize exercising rode with the stock into the sunset (pun intended).
I hope you found these notes from Influence valuable and that the Zoom book club session was insightful. If I missed out on anything, comment down below!
Speak soon,
Thomas